


𝘄𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿'𝘀 (blessed) 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲

by astroblue



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: An attempt to give content to Sungbri nation, Compulsive writing, Day6 - Freeform, Domestic Fluff, Don't expect too much, First au ever written, Happy ending? Maybe?, I Tried, Jae Wonpil Dowoon knows, Light Angst, M/M, Missing OT5 hours, Noob au writer, One-sided love?, Pain and suffering kinda, Sungbri please come back home, Sungjin in this au is basically me, Sungjin's stubborn, Younghyun's clueless, bandmates, pinning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:01:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27427609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astroblue/pseuds/astroblue
Summary: —and just like he did for the past 3 years, Sungjin once again ignores the screams of his heart for Younghyun.orAn au where Sungjin managed to successfully keep his feelings for the bassist in the past long years, but fails during the present winter.
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Sungjin, Kim Wonpil/Park Jaehyung | Jae, Sungbri - Relationship, jaepil - Relationship
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i am a heavy believer of "sungbri's love language is action and service" and you can totally see that throughout the entire au lolol i'm just a sucker for domestic sungbri and bare-minimum stuff alright :D i basically emit the most single aura and i embrace that lmfao anw enjoy(?) reading~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pain-free chapter yet... i think~ this is my attempt of giving content to sungbri nation because we deserve that lol and i hope it serves it's purpose hahaha! be mindful that this is my first au so... yeahhhh alright bye!

It was mid-December fully embraced by a silent, cold moonlight. Trees are dancing along with the freezing wind, streets are covered with a blanket of snow, and colorful lights filled the sidewalks. Days are getting near to celebrating their bassist's birthday; and just like he did for the past 3 years, Sungjin once again ignores the screams of his heart for Younghyun.

Sungjin doesn't know when or how exactly he fell in love with the bassist. Maybe it was the moment he met the literal sunshine, charismatic, fox-eyed man. Or it could be the fact that Younghyun owns the smile that Sungjin adores the most and, that Younghyun never fails to be there with him during the times he felt like he had no one. Yeah, he thinks it's also probably the latter.

However, Sungjin is sure of one thing: being in love with their bassist would be a secret (apparently known by his other band mates) he would be bringing up to his grave. Or so he thought.

✧･ﾟ: *✧

The band agreed to gather tonight as an early celebration for Younghyun's birthday, as the members and Younghyun himself have other plans during the upcoming 19th. The freezing dusk approaches as they sat around the living room, realizing they're missing one and most important element when celebrating something.

"Guys, you see in celebrating something, we're supposed to have FOOD and DRINKS y'know? I'm just saying!" Jae started, accompanied with his alien-like gestures.

"Right! How could we forget something so trivial!" Dowoon added, giving an eye to Wonpil.

Receiving the signal successfully, Wonpil suggested with his oh-so-innocent and pleading voice, "Maybe the hyungs can go buy it. Since they'll never let the maknaes go out in this cold night, right?"

Dowoon made a sound of agreement, nodding repetitively. Younghyun laughs as he puts his attention back to his phone, still listening to the conversation.

The leader sighs, already knowing where this would head to, “Then let’s get going, Jae. It’ll get colder outside if we don’t.”

“What? No, no, good sir. I THINK Brian should go with you.” Jae says with a wide smile, wiggling his brows to Sungjin.

Sungjin knows that stupid smile so well. _Here we freaking go again_. To be honest, he already got used to his member’s never ending antics anyway. Raising his brows at Jae, “Well, aren’t you a HYUNG in this group? Plus this is an early celebration for Kang Bra, it would be rude to let him do the preparations.”

Now, we all know damn well that Jae always finds a way to everything. “TRUE! BUT! Since we are a superband run by democracy, we should settle this with a vote!” He says, while looking at the maknaes as if asking for support.

“I highly nominate Brian!” Jae shouts which was followed with a, “Me too!!” from Dowoon and Wonpil.

Younghyun finally peeling off his eyes from his phone, speaks up, “Sungjin-hyung, I’ll go with you. It’s really not rude or anything and I don’t think Jae’s gonna shut up until you back down.”

Sungjin could’ve sworn he saw the members’ eye sparkle with glee, and he hates them for that. “Are you sure? You should stop spoiling these little demons.”

Younghyun laughs, “Yeah yeah, hyung. They’re our little demons. Let’s go.”

The bassist leaves the dorm first, which Sungjin saw as a chance to glare at the three members sitting victoriously at the living room. The leader hears a “You’re welcome!” as he leaves, and he makes a mental note to punch the three lovingly later.

✧･ﾟ: *✧

"Hyung.." the fox-eyed man called out.

Sungjin doesn't respond, eyes still glued to the path they're walking. Younghyun leans towards the latter's face, stares and waves his hand.

Finally back to his senses, Sungjin stares back and pushes his friend's face gently, "What's up? Dude, you're too close."

The bassist just laughed heartily at the older and mumbled, "Cute" then added, "Are you okay? You seemed very attracted to the ground."

Sungjin stared at the man with his not-amused face and chuckled afterwards, "Yeah, the ground seemed wayyyy more interesting than this friend I'm walking with."

Younghyun nudged the older, "Eyyy shut it, hyung. We both know that's a lie! You love me!"

“....”

_What the actual fuck?_ The leader succeeds on maintaining a neutral face but fails entirely on not having a mental breakdown, thinking of all the possible reasons _how in the actual fuck_ Kang Younghyun knew that the older loves him. _Did I slip up or something? I’m pretty sure I didn’t say anything weird though… Holy shit what if I actually did.. or maybe the members gave it away? I might actually have to kill them this time._

The war going on in Sungjin’s mind was interrupted when Younghyun adds,

“What? Don’t you love us, your band members, entirely? Oh my god hyung, was it all a pretend?!” while making a “hurt” face with his fist placed on his chest.

A period of silence unfolds. _This fucker gave me a mini-heart attack and he has the audacity to act fucking cute_. _Why do I even love this stupid ass.._

“God, you’re so annoying… but sometimes I really have to thank you for your stupidity.” Sungjin smiles and ruffles the younger’s hair, free from the mental panic he just had. “And yes, I do love all of the members.” _Maybe a little too much when it comes to you_.

“Wha- I joined you out here in the cold night and this is the type of treatment I get? You’re really something else, hyung.” the younger said jokingly and chuckles. “But don’t worry, Sungjin. We love you too. At least I think so.”

“Should’ve stopped at ‘We love you too’, honestly.” They both just laughed, one hoping that the other wouldn’t hear his loud heartbeat.

✧･ﾟ: *✧

After what felt like hours, the leader and bassist finally arrived at the restaurant they’ll be getting food at. The decorations are pretty standard, giving a feel-at-home vibe with all the neon signs and fairy lights surrounding the place. It was quite filled with people, couples to be exact, which made the older feel unusually giddy. After fixing his thoughts, the elder noticed Younghyun looking intently at the menu as if he’d found his soulmate which made the elder smile. 

“Well? Got something you like?” Sungjin asked while moving closer to the younger’s side.

“Oh, hyung.” He backs off the menu. “No no, it’s nothing. You’re picking the food, right? Go ahead.” Younghyun says, as he scratches his cheeks sheepishly, giving way to Sungjin.

_Kang Younghyun give me a fucking break stop being cute you’re killing me here, man_

Sungjin laughs fondly at the sight of the latter. “What now?” the younger says while looking at the laughing man in front of him. “Kang Bra, you do know you can pick the food, right?” the older says, “It is for you, after all.”

“Oh.” a pause, “then.. I want this- this- this-” Younghyun starts pointing almost the entire menu. “Alright, alright slow down birthday boy.” Sungjin warns him, with a soft tone.

Rest assured that Sungjin bought most of what Younghyun pointed at and added few others that the members at home would like. Along their way back, the duo also bought refreshments and alcohol for them to enjoy along with the countless food they brought.

“Hyung, I’ve been wondering lately..” Younghyun starts, bags of food on hand. Sungjin looks at him, signalling him to continue. “Don’t you have someone you’re in love with? You’re not really dating anyone or openly liking anyone. Also, I’m pretty sure Jae-hyung and Wonpil is into each other but they’re not doing anything with it. Dowoon’s also been in a relationship for a year already.” he says then pauses, “Sooo~ that leaves you.”

_Jeez you’re on a damn roll today with the questions, Kang Bra._ Sungjin went silent for a while, not expecting for the question to ever come from the mouth of the man he’d loved for the longest time. He was pretty sure he has prepared an answer, but now it was just non-existent.

“I don’t know~ Do I?” The older teases, returning the tone of the younger while trying his best to sound stable. “Wait so you do have one! That’s unfair, hyung. How come I don’t know?” The younger pouts and nudges the older. “So? Who is it?”

“Well...I haven’t really told anyone.” _That’s a lie, actually….maybe not.. because the observant idiots found out themselves without me telling…_ “And I’d like it to stay that way.”

Younghyun hums, understanding the privacy of the older, and goes back to watching the people enveloping the streets. “Well, if you say so. Can’t really blame you.. myself ain’t dating either.”

And as if Sungjin haven’t had enough suffering from pinning over the fox-eyed man beside him for the past years, he asks, “What about that girl you told me about before, then? How that go? I thought you guys were a pretty good match.”

“That was like a month ago, hyung.” the younger looks at him, brow raised. Sungjin notices the slight difference in the latter’s tone, which he takes as a sign of Younghyun not opening up about his love life. “Right. Sorry. Didn’t mean to…” he falters,

“Anyway, aren’t you cold? Your hands, I mean…you’re not wearing gloves..” the leader says as he stares at Younghyun’s hands.

The younger smiled at the older, “It’s fine, hyung~ I can bear with it until we get back to the dorm.”

Sungjin instinctively walked towards the side of the street, and plopped down the drinks he was holding which earned him a confused look from the younger. Immediately searching something in the pockets of his long coat, “Ah! I knew it! I had extra gloves around here.”, he says as he brings out the said gloves, giving it to the younger. “Put the food bags down first.” And the younger does as he says. “Here, put it on.”

“..You didn’t really have to, hyung. But thank you!” Younghyun offers a bright smile to Sungjin, which never fails to heal his hopeless soul. The rest of the walk towards the dorm became silent, a comfortable one.

This had always been how Sungjin and Younghyun treat each other. They always pay attention to each other, they know how to deal with each other, they never force one another. Their band mates would even often tell Sungjin how they’re basically soulmates because of how domestic and comfortable they are with each other. But, being the typical stubborn Sungjin he is, he thinks otherwise. Hell, when Jae knew about his feelings for the younger, they got into a somewhat and short heated argument.

_“Dude! Just confess to him jeez! 3 years?! You’re crazy for even holding on this long. Are you try’na prove that you’re some martyr or something?”_

“ _My god Jae, I fucking tried getting rid of these stupid feelings within those years alright?! I just don’t get why I always end up on the same damn fox-eyed band mate of ours…”_

_“And please, I’m not some fucking martyr or proving that I am. I’m just some fucking idiot who continues loving someone knowing damn fucking well they’d never be mine, alright? Just cut me some slack, man. I’m trying my best here.”_

_“.…”_

_“Alright alright I’m sorry, dude. I got too heated. That was insensitive of me to say as well. Just know we’ll be rooting for you no matter what, okay? We’re here for you.”_

_“...It’s fine, my bad I ended up screaming at you. Really, thank you Jae, but you should figure out your own love life struggles, don’t you think?”_

_“.…How did you even- I hate you, you know that? Come on, let’s get a drink.”_

But, can you really blame Sungjin for continuing loving a man who is probably the sweetest guy one can meet? Can you really blame Sungjin for loving a man who loves his friends as much as he loves his parents? Can you really blame Sungjin for loving a man like Younghyun? He knows damn well that there would be no fruits from this tree, but only falling leaves caused by time. And yet he’s still there, staying still and watching the tree constantly lose it’s leaves, doing nothing about it but wish for a miracle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello to everyone who checked out the au! <3 i hope the first chapter made sense lolol i'm new to writing aus... this is my first one actually after years of just reading aus hahahaha! to be honest, this just popped out in my mind during math class...MATH CLASS!!! no kidding. and i just had the urge to write i honestly don't know why 'till now... maybe i'm missing ot5 and sungbri so much.. their power over me ughh anw thats all~ i hope you'd keep in touch with my compulsive writing lol 
> 
> stay safe and be happy everyone! <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chap's definitely longer than the previous one :3 i really have nothing to say about this one aside from the fact it has a lot of cussing... so i'll let you go and read it now hahahaha! thank you, as always <3

The so-called “soulmates” by the band members finally arrived at the dorms, both hands full of bags of food and tray of drinks. The long and cold journey they went through clearly evident in their appearance, one with shriveled hair and the other shivering as they entered the dorm. Sungjin and Younghyun were immediately greeted by the members, clearly impatient and hungry from all the waiting they had to do; in which the two fondly smiled unto.

“You really took your time huh, hyungs.” Dowoon says in a teasing tone, while clearing the dining table.

“They really did, didn’t they..” Wonpil adds, taking out the food from the bags while Jae helping him on the side, too hungry to even add another witty comment.

“Ya-” Sungjin starts, as he knows this is going to be another one of their shenanigans. Younghyun interjects, unaware of what the maknae was implying, “Shhh two of you~ Just be glad we didn’t let you out there in the cold~” while smiling at Dowoon, wide-eyed.

Dowoon chuckles and responses with the same tone, “Okaaaay~ Thankful for your sacrifices, hyungs~” looking at Sungjin, smirking slightly. Which in return, Sungjin put out his tounge and afterwards mouthed “serves you right” to the maknaes.

It is safe to say that the “little demons” (as what Sungjin called them) were indeed hungry from waiting as Jae immediately places the food to the dining table as soon as Wonpil finishes preparing it. Dowoon also started helping the two after thoroughly cleaning the dining table, enough to not hear any nagging from Sungjin. On the less busy side of the dorm, the leader and the bassist can be seen chilling by the couch in an attempt to remove the hour long cold they had to go through. The older was sitting at the corner of the couch and Younghyun on the other corner, legs stretched out across the seat. Busy shivering out of his soul, Sungjin later notices that the younger is poking his thighs from time-to-time. In which the older assumed,

“Kang Bra? You okay? Do you need anything?” He says, while removing the phone on the latter’s hands.

“Actually…my feet is still cold…Can you go-” The younger responses in a small voice which was interrupted when Sungjin slowly stood up, returning the phone. “Yep, on it. I’ll go get some heat packs.”

“I wasn’t even done speaking….” Younghyun falters, pouting at the older. “Oh, is it not what you need?” Sungjin says, half-way from fully standing up. The younger beams a cheeky smile. “Actually it is~ I was just flattered that you knew without me finishing my sentence~” The older rolled his eyes at the younger, hissing, “Shut up, Kang Bra. It’s common sense”, earning a laughter from the younger.

A demon coughs. “Folks, sorry for interrupting your lil’ flirting session but food’s ready. I’m staaaaaaaaarving!” Jae half-shouts, rubbing his belly implying that he is indeed hungry.

_I should probably prioritize killing Jae someday._ “We really should start eating. Jae’s starting to talk nonsense.” The leader says, head shaking. “You guys go ahead! I’m going to get Kang Bra some heat packs.” he adds, disappearing from the dining room.

“I mean… Jae-hyung talks nonsense hungry or not.” Wonpil sneakily adds to the previous statement of Sungjin. Jae immediately faces the younger, showing a face of betrayal.

“Hey, I heard that! I thought we’re on the same team here!” The guitarist says, pinching Wonpil’s cheeks which resulted to Wonpil doing the same to the latter as revenge.

Somewhere around the room, the youngest can be heard murmuring, “Suddenly, I miss my girlfriend…”

✧･ﾟ: *✧

Few seconds later, Sungjin returns to the dining table with both his hands carrying heat packs for Younghyun. The older notices that the members weren’t really eating as the food remains untouched but instead were just casually talking and throwing around jokes. He slowly joins and sits with them on the dining room, at the same time handing out the heat pack to Younghyun, “You guys didn’t touch the food? I thought y’all are hungry?” The bassist smiles at the older and says a quick “Thank you”, which in return the older nodded.

“Sungjin’s finally here! Take the seat beside Brian” Jae exclaims, way too excited for his own good as he immediately starts digging on the food. Without saying a word, he was immediately followed by Wonpil who basically attacked the pizza, then Dowoon who calmly went for the plate of chicken in front of him. Younghyun snickered at the sight of his members, having the audacity to say, “Damn, they really were hungry huh.”

This earned him a look from the older that somewhat speaks am-i-missing-something-here to the younger so he focuses his attention to the leader.

“You weren’t wrong.. they were hungry but I stopped them.” He starts, “I told them to wait for you, hyung. So that we could eat all together.” Younghyuns finishes, starting to inhale the food in front of him as well.

“Didn’t expect them to listen, to be honest~ I was expecting that I’d be the only one waiting but I guess they’re being obedient for once since it’s my early celeb.” The younger adds while chuckling, mouth stuffed with food.

It would be a freaking lie if Sungjin says he wasn’t flattered by the thought of the younger. He’s the type to appreciate and notice the smallest things, after all. It’s exactly for this small and simple reason why the elder would always end up loving the man beside him all over again.

Sungjin offers a gentle smile to the bassist, “Thank you, Younghyun. Advance happy birthday to you..” Younghyun returns the gesture and says a “thank you” to the older, afterwards gesturing him to start eating as well. And the leader did do so.

The dinner was silent most of the time as everyone was busy devouring the countless food in front of them. A few jokes and chitchats were thrown here and there from time-to-time, then it goes back to focusing on eating. As usual Dowoon finished eating first, followed by Wonpil and Jae who both are leaned back at their seats showing that they’re full and satisfied with the feast. That leaves Younghyun and Sungjin who are still eating, finishing everyone’s crumbs and the untouched food till it’s non-existent. While the duo were busy eating and the other pair were busy chitchatting, Dowoon took the initiative to get the drinks from the fridge and distribute it among everyone which earned him a thank you from his hyungs.

“Hold on, hold on, you guys don’t drink yet! Let’s make a toast for Brian’s early birthday celeb!” Jae alerts the members, holding up his can of beer. The others followed the gesture of the eldest. “To Brian’s 30th birthday!” “Cheeeeeers!” The members collectively responded, basically shouting.

And so the drinking function of the celebration begins. If you were to ask Sungjin to describe what kind of chaos happens every time the members gather and drink, he probably won’t be able to. He’ll most likely just ask you to witness it yourself. However, little did he know that something other than chaos would unfold in this comforting winter night.

It was pretty much expected that the first one to pass out is Wonpil. The man was already speaking alien and became extra clingy just moments ago. Jae then took the opportunity to take the floor and talk about conspiracy theories to the remaining somewhat-alive members, occasionally receiving passive response from the members. And of course Dowoon, well… he was just there (physically at least), tapping the table mindlessly. The two remaining members who’re close to sanity are Sungjin and Younghyun, both wise enough to not drink that much so that they’ll be able to witness and enjoy the mess of the members happen in front of them. The scene before their eyes goes on for several more minutes, then later on progressed as a graveyard of their drunk band mates.

“Ahhh~ they’re finally done.” Younghyun says with amusement, chuckles on the sight of his members dead drunk on the floor.

Sungjin stands up from his place, “What a shit show they’ve put on for you, huh.” he says approaching the members, poking them one-by-one checking if they’re still somehow alive.

“It was entertaining though! Totally worth it~” the younger says, eyes fixated on the leader who’s doing a mini-checkup to the members. The older laughed in response, his way of agreeing with the younger.

After having a short chitchat about what just happened, Younghyun goes to the fridge and brings out more alcohol, “I’m drinking on the balcony. Wanna join me, hyung?”

The older frowned, “It’s so cold outside though?” The younger made a thinking gesture, hands still holding alcohol, “Dunno. I just feel like it, hyung~ You don’t have to join me though.”

_How could I even say no to you, dumbass._ Sungjin sighs, “Fineee~ I’ll join you. I’m getting us extra clothing and padded jackets. Hold on.”

And the younger does indeed wait for the older to get whatever he needs to get before heading to the balcony, immediately greeted by the cold serenade of winter. 

The first few minutes were filled with comfortable silence, pretty typical when it’s just the two of them. Not long after, Sungjin spoke up, “I think you have something to say. Spill it out?”

The younger hums in agreement, “Sungjin, you know me too well, don’t you think?” his eyes attracted to the glimmering night sky.

“Nah, you’re just easy to read when it comes to moments like this.” the older retorts, looking intently at Younghyun.

Younghyun sighs, then laughs bitterly. “It’s just regarding my parents…” he falters, “I love them, I really do. But recently they’ve been pushing me about getting married or at least settling with someone..” a frown shows in the younger’s face as he continues, “But you see, I don’t have that someone nor am I interested on having one to be honest.” the younger sighs again, “I know they’re just being concerned parents but..I can’t help but feel pressured.. ’cause only child, y’know?” he finishes, as he takes a sip from the can of beer.

Sungjin has been through a long ride of emotions throughout the years of him loving the bassist and he has always managed to fight through them… but somehow.. something just feels a lot worse and heavy during this overwhelming cold night. _Is it because of the alcohol? Is it because of the piercing cold? Is it because Younghyun’s mentioned marriage and settling down?_ He acknowledges that it’s probably the latter.

Sungjin lowers his head, lets it rest on the bottle of alcohol he’s holding, “Tell me if I’m wrong but I’m sure you’ll do whatever would make your parents happy, either way.” The younger hums in response. “Then, you might as well find someone who you think you can really spend the rest of your life with.” the older bites his lips, “It’s already a given that a lot of people are interested in you anyway. So finding isn’t really the problem here, but it’s the feeling aspect of it…” the older falters, “Just like your parents, I want you to be happy too. The members would want that too. You deserve that.. so really, do what your heart tells you to do so. Just make sure you’ll be happy with whatever it is.” Sungjin ends, trying his best not to choke out the words. _Has holding back a goddamn sob been this hard before?_

The younger sighs for the nth time today, “I don’t know, hyung. It’s a first time for me to feel so…clueless and helpless. I don’t like it.”

The leader looks at the younger, examining the bassist’s facial expression. “There must be a reason underneath, then.” he concludes, “Is it because of sexual preference…” accidentally spilling out his thoughts.

Younghyun interjects, “No, I don’t think that’s it.” he adds, “I’m okay with anyone really…and my parents doesn’t mind about it either.”

“Alright, hold on for a second. I’m missing the entire point here but you’ve dated guys?!” Sungjin exclaims, completely forgetting about the heart ache he felt just minutes ago.

“Uh…yeah..” the younger hesitates, surprised at the older’s reaction. “I’m sorry is that uncomfortable with you?” He assumes, as he takes a large gulp of beer.

“Huh? Oh no, no, no, no.” the older immediately responses, shaking his head and waving his hand repetitively. “I was just legitimately surprised, that’s all.” The older also take a big gulp of alcohol. _Doesn’t change anything anyway._

“Anyway, back to what really matters!” Sungjin stutters. A period of silence occurs. “Maybe it’s because you still haven’t really found someone who feels like….home.” _‘Cause that’s how exactly you feel to me._

“...”

The younger frowns, “How am I even to supposed to know that they feel like home?”

“Stupid, you’re supposed to FEEL not know. Feeling is knowing, y’know.” Sungjin says, pointing his chest twice. “For someone who writes a lot of lyrics about feelings, you don’t really have much experience yourself, Mr. Kang Younghyun.” the older adds, sipping his drink.

Younghyun playfully pouts at the older, “Hyunggg~ I asked for comfort and advice not for a roasting session, alright?”

“Alright, alright my bad~” the older says, laughing heartily at the sight of the younger. Younghyun just shakes his head and laughs along with the older.

A long period of silence once again unfolds between the two.

Sungjin coughs, breaking the silence. “But speaking truthfully, take your time, Younghyun. That’s a pretty important decision you’d be making. Don’t be half-assed about it.” _I don’t even know anymore if what I’m saying is for you or for my own. God, I’m starting to get an headache._ The older takes a last huge gulp of the alcohol. 

“I will keep that in mind…thanks, hyung.” The younger replied, as he leans back on the balcony rails. His eyes focused on the older who just finished emptying the bottle of alcohol he was holding. “How about you, hyung?”

The older returns the eye contact, his eyebrow raised. “What about me?”

“Something you wanna talk about? Band mate issues? Love life issues? Family struggles? I don’t know…I’d feel bad if I were the only want ranting, y’know?” Younghyun suggests, crossing his arms.

Sungjin laughs at the fact that the younger assumes “band mate issues” first. He puts down the emptied bottle of alcohol from his hands. “D’ya want me to cry, is that it?” he says in a joking manner.

Younghyun chuckles, “Eyyyy~ of course not, hyung! Stop trying to change the topic~”

The older playfully scoffs, “Ya got me there.” then becomes silent for a second, contemplating if the next words that would come out of his mouth would be something he’ll regret the rest of his life. _Very fucking likely._ Maybe the alcohol’s starting to indeed take over his system because he thinks, _fuck it._

And so he does start with a long sigh, “I’ve been liking- no, scratch that- loving this one guy for years…” pausing, waiting for some sort of response from the latter.

“What are the chances that Dowoon-ah is the only straight in our group..” The younger comments, chuckling, then gestures the older to continue.

The older just laughs. “This guy…he’s probably the sweetest guy that one can meet. And the man owns the brightest smile that can make the sun be ashamed of its job, honestly!” he exclaims. “He loves his friends as much as he loves his parents… He’s also clear on showing affection to the people he loves too..” the older falters, _Ughh my head’s hurting_. _I shouldn’t have finished the damn alcohol._ “He’s pretty much perfect if you ask me...though the dude can be stubborn if he wants to…” the older smiles as he recalls a memory, “There was this one time he ordered a spicy dish because he said he thinks he can handle it this time and then, later on he ends up asking his friends to swap dish with him because it was too spicy..” Sungjin says, chuckling while looking up the night skies enveloping them.

“You have a weird taste, hyung. I mean…he seems pretty lame~” The younger responds in his usual teasing tone, trying to lighten up the mood, still unaware. “But in all seriousness from the way you talk about him, I could tell you really love this guy.”

Sungjin would love to blame the alcohol and slap himself because he ends up replying, “Did you just call yourself lame?” as he scoffs.

The younger stays silent, a frown shown on his face, trying to piece together what the older just said. Sure, Younghyun can be indeed clueless but he’s not that stupid to not read where the conversation was leading to. Not when everything’s being laid out to him by the drunk older.

And as if Sungjin haven’t dug deep enough of his grave, he bites his lips, trying to hold back a sob, “He plays the bass…he’s a good ass lyricist too..! He’s the one who knows me the most…the one who knows how to deal with me the most….” he lowers his head, frowning and stifling a cry, “and the one who’d never be mine….” the older finishes, sniffing.

“...”

Younghyun, the man who most of the time have a lot to say and is known for being good with words, wasn’t able to let out a single sound out of his mouth. Was his long and hurting silence due to him being surprised because he absolutely was clueless all this time? Or was it because he’s thoroughly thinking of the gentlest and most loving way of rejecting the older? Sungjin wishes he knew. And for once, he genuinely wishes that he didn't accompany Younghyun this time. 

On the other hand, Sungjin stays his head lowered, not even daring to check the younger’s current expression. The silence that felt like hours was slowly killing the older’s sanity, and the toll of the alcohol wasn’t helping him at all either. _But, you know maybe it was for the better that it was finally out there._ Maybe. Or maybe he was just forcing himself to think positively in a situation that he knows nothing good would come out of. Sungjin would totally blame the alcohol for whatever just happened but…deep within him, he knows. He knows that he’s tired pinning over the same man for the past years. He knows that he’s tired from keeping his true feelings to the younger. He knows that no matter how long he waits, nothing would change. That subconsciously, he'd always wanted to let out all the bottled feelings he's been desperately keeping all this time and, probably...Probably this was his heart telling him that there's always a limit for everything. _H_ _as the winter wind ever felt this harsh and saddening before? It actually feels like it's cursing at me.._

“I’m sorry…I’m going ahead first, hyung..” The younger says, the only words that came out from his mouth after a long silence, as he slowly walks back in to the warm dorm.

The older was left alone outside, under the harsh winter moonlight, feeling a lot but never better. He lets out a bitter laugh as he stares at the seat where the younger was just placed at. _Fuck it, huh._ “I fucking hate the winter.” he says to himself as he lowers his head once again, finally letting out all the cries he’s been holding out.

✧･ﾟ: *✧

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well! that concludes the second chapter,, how was it? :D i'm gonna keep my notes shorter this time lolol this chapter for sure blew my one working braincell tbh.. so the next chap's probably going to take long to update.. just a heads up!! as always, thank you for reading the au <3 stay safe and happy everyone!


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